Two Against One
by suspect tomatoes
Summary: He was different, but they definitely planned on changing that. Edge/OC, Christian/OC, Cody/OC. One-shot.


**A/N: Happy 60****th**** story, MacKenzie! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... Legdgeacy. At their finest.**

"You're different from us."

Cody Rhodes looked up from the magazine he was reading, feet propped up on the coffee table in front of him, and stared at Edge and Christian. They were standing off to the side, next to each other, glaring at him.

"What?" he asked.

"You're different," Christian stated.

Edge nodded. "We don't like it."

Cody pursed his lips. "I'm... _sorry_?"

"We need to fix this." Christian tapped his chin. "I mean, if we're going to be hanging out. You know?"

Cody blinked. "Yeah. I guess."

"You know what it might be?"

Christian looked at Edge. "What?"

"It could be his hair. He's not blond."

Christian gasped, whipping his head toward Cody. "You're totally right. He's got dark hair. That's gonna be a problem."

"What the hell are you two going to do to my hair?"

"We're going to fix it," Edge said nonchalantly, coming over and messing with it. "There's not a lot to work with."

"But it has definite possibilities," Christian finished.

"You guys are insane!" Cody hopped over the back of the sofa, rolling up the magazine. "Don't come near me. I'll hit you with this!"

Edge scoffed and plucked it from Cody's fingers, tossing it into the corner of the room. "Now, where were we?"

"Don't touch my hair!"

Christian grabbed Edge's arm. "It's the lisp."

Edge frowned. "The lisp?"

"Yeah. He doesn't have a Canadian accent. He's a southern boy." Christian paused. "A _Thouthern_ boy."

"_You're right_!" Edge turned back to Cody. "You have to fix your accent."

"And your teeth."

Cody backed into the wall. "Just to _hang out_ with you guys?"

"You expected anything less?"

"Becky likes me the way I am!"

"Does she?"

Cody blinked at Edge. "Of course she does."

"That's not what she told me."

"Or me," Christian agreed.

Cody covered his mouth. "What'd she tell you?"

Edge sighed and looked at Christian. "Should we tell him?"

"Nah."

"You're disrupting the..." Edge tried to form the words with his hands. "The _sanctity_ of the stable."

"_Stable_?"

"Yes. And you being different makes us look weak. What's that word Kaitlyn used?"

Christian scratched his head. "Diverse?"

"No, no, something smarter than that."

"How does _me_ looking different from you two make _this whole group_ look weak?"

"Well, for starters, you make us look like pansies with that lisp of yours." Edge crossed his arms. "And think of it this way—if you were to see a brick wall, you'd think it was pretty sturdy, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, what if a third of that brick wall was made out of aluminum foil?"

"Or tissue paper," Christian offered.

"You're comparing me to _tissue paper_?"

"Point is, you're different and we don't like it. You're changing."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Cody held up his hands as Edge and Christian went toward him. "Why don't _you two _change to look like _me_?"

Edge and Christian stopped for a second and stared at each other, before they threw their heads back and shared a hearty laugh.

"Are you joking?" Edge asked.

"You can't be serious," Christian snorted.

"What? It's not funny!"

"Two against one, Codeman." Edge shook his head. "Sorry. Paper covers rock."

"Yeah, and rock beats the _shit_ out of scissors!"

Edge stared at Christian.

He glanced at him. "_What_?"

Edge just shook his head again and turned back to Cody. "How about we cut you a deal? We dye your hair, and then we'll change something, too."

"You're not dying my hair!"

"That's what you think. What should we change?"

Cody rubbed at his jaw, frowning. "I'm not too sure on what you can change."

Edge grinned. "Because we're perfect."

"Wait!"

Edge grimaced. "Think of something?"

"Oh, yeah. Something _brilliant_."

* * *

"My back is killing me," Kaitlyn moaned. "Remind me to never train with Kelly Kelly again."

"How do you think I feel? Fatass Mickie practically broke my tailbone when she sat on me."

Becky smiled. "Welcome to the wonderful world of wrestling."

"It's great, really." Kait rubbed the back of her neck. "I just hope I get to kick Kelly's teeth in tonight."

"Just pretend you slipped," Becky winked and opened the hotel room door. The beds were unmade and there was an empty container on the table, but the boys were nowhere to be found.

Kait frowned. "Where are they?"

"I don't know." Mack put her gym back down and slid open the glass door to the balcony, looking out. "They're not out here. Are they at the pool?"

"Probably at the gym," Becky nodded.

"Ah, _shit_, Cody!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

The girls froze.

Mack looked over at Becky. "That sounded like Edge."

"Are they in the _bathroom_?" Kait hissed.

They moved closer, pressing their ears against the door.

"Cody, you got it in my _hair_!"

"You better wash it out quick, it'll be murder to get out when it dries."

"It's on the wall!" came Christian's booming voice.

"This is why I do it in the shower—easier clean-up!"

"Jesus Christ, Rhodes, you'd think you'd know how to _do this _by now." The water turned on. "Ow! Fuck! It's in my eye!"

"Quick, help him, Christian! My hands are all sticky!"

"Shit, I dropped it!"

"Oh, great, Christian, now's it gonna go everywhere."

"You try holding on to that thing!"

"Get a firm grip on it!"

"It's _slippery_!"

Mack slammed the door open. "What the _fuck _is going on in here?"

The boys froze, Christian holding Edge's head under the faucet while Cody stood in the bathtub, shirtless and wearing a shower cap.

Christian smiled. "Heyyyy, baby."

"What the _fuck _is going on?" Kait demanded.

"They're blinding me!" Edge yelled, over the rushing water.

"What was all that commotion?" Becky moved toward Cody, but stopped. "And why are you wearing a shower cap?"

"They're dying my hair."

"_What_?"

"So in return, I'm making them shave their chests."

"In return." Becky turned toward Mack and Kait. "He's _making _them... _shave_... their _chests_."

Mack tapped her bottom lip. "That's not a bad thing."

Edge turned off the water and flipped his hair back, spraying everyone. His chest was smeared with white shaving cream. There was some near the corner of his eye. "Hey, babe. I need some help."

"You're tellin' me."

"I never should've trusted a boy who just started getting chest hair a month ago."

"I resent that," Cody spat.

"You got it in my _hair_." Edge pointed at his stringy locks. "My _hair_. You honestly think I _care_ if you _rethent_ that?"

Cody looked at Becky. "They keep making fun of my lisp."

Becky bit her lip to keep herself from laughing. "How rude."

"What was too slippery to handle?"

Christian frowned at Kait. "Huh?"

"You said you couldn't hold something. Because it was too slippery."

He blinked at her. "I'm lost."

"Oh!" Edge bent down and picked up the container of shaving cream, trying to wipe off the gel. "Christian got it all over the place. It was like giving it to a child."

"So you can do no wrong, Edge?" Mack asked, smiling.

"WRONG?"

"Oh, Jesus—"

"WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!" Edge stopped kicking his legs and looked up at everyone. "What?"

"He actually _can_ do wrong." Cody pulled off the shower cap. "He left the bleach on too long."

Becky screamed.

Edge growled, getting to his feet again. "It's not _my_ fault he didn't time it. What am I, Big Ben?"

"It's _orange_!" She ran her hand over it, gasping at the strands stuck to her fingers. "And it's _falling out_!"

"Not my fault," Edge snubbed.

"Look at the bright side!" Kait exclaimed.

"_Bright side_? There _is _no bright side!"

"If it falls out, he's going to look even _more_ like Randy now."

The girls paused.

"That isn't a bad thing," Mack agreed.

"Great. So I went from looking like Cody, to looking like Canadian retards, to looking like Randy." Cody rubbed his forehead. "This is a disaster."

"You're telling me. We still haven't fixed the problem of you being different." Edge moved toward him. "Maybe if we try again... you might end up looking like Ziggler, though."

"At least he'd be blond," Christian said.

"_No_!" Cody held up his hand. "Stay away from me, Edge."

"Well," Edge sighed and looked at Christian. "I guess we know what the moral of _this_ story is."

Christian nodded, smiling dreamily. He glanced at Edge uncertainly. "No. No, I don't."

Edge threw his arm around his shoulder. "Even _God_ can't recreate _this_ perfection."

**A/N: Um... what? Ha! Review.**


End file.
